https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jon-english-lee/episodes/Looking-for-Love-in-All-the-Right-Places-e2gm5gk
Good evening. Please turn with me in your bibles to Song of Solomon chapter 8. Song of Solomon chapter 8. We’ve made it to the final chapter, and we will see the author begin wrap things up.
By way of review, I’ve made the case along the way that this book is a collection of individual poems, but that those individual poems are tied together to paint a picture, or tell a story. We move in the first three chapters from the courtship or dating phase, into chapters 3 and 4 about the wedding and all the joy and anticipation surrounding that event.
But then in chapter 5 we see a problem, and there is a rift, a separation within the relationship. And that separation is remedied in chapters 6 and 7 which describe the reconciliation of the estranged parties, and the restoration of the relationship
Tonight, we will see, I believe, poetry that gives us some concluding reflections. These reflections hint at the deepening of intimacy throughout marriage, but they also push us even further.
They give us the framework to understand that human marriage, human intimacy, indeed the very primal desire for fellowship and closeness, are all rooted in something deeper than physical touch or marriage vows could ever reach.
Relational Desire and the craving for intimacy, seem to have no end. When we truly love someone, we want more and more of them. We don’t tire of them. We crave their company, their touch, their conversation, their presence.
But therein lies the conundrum. What spouse can ever fulfill a seemingly bottomless desire? What spouse can ever be perfectly present, perfectly close, perfectly satisfying to our souls?
I’d argue on the basis of scripture that No earthly spouse can completely fulfill our deepest desires. So where does that leave us?
That question is part of what led CS Lewis to conclude: “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”[1]
Before I get ahead of myself, let’s read our text. Song of Solomon chapter 8:
Oh that you were like a brother to me
who nursed at my mother’s breasts!
If I found you outside, I would kiss you,
and none would despise me.
2 I would lead you and bring you
into the house of my mother—
she who used to teach me.
I would give you spiced wine to drink,
the juice of my pomegranate.
3 His left hand is under my head,
and his right hand embraces me!
4 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
that you not stir up or awaken love
until it pleases.5 Who is that coming up from the wilderness,
leaning on her beloved?Under the apple tree I awakened you.
There your mother was in labor with you;
there she who bore you was in labor.6 Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death,
jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
the very flame of the Lord.
7 Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can floods drown it.
If a man offered for love
all the wealth of his house,
he[c] would be utterly despised.
Let’s begin by walking through the first three verses and see desire described, desire described. The woman begins with words that sound strange to our ears, perhaps even illicit:
Oh that you were like a brother to me
who nursed at my mother’s breasts!
If I found you outside, I would kiss you,
and none would despise me.
Why would she want her lover to be a brother? Is this some kind of perversion? No. She’s saying in verse 1 that she wishes she could kiss her brother in public, without any sense of shame.
In their culture, for a woman to hold hands or show bodily affection toward her lover would be immediately taboo. It would be necessarily seen as having erotic overtones that were unacceptable in public.
However, for a sister and brother to hold hands, or to hug, or to even have an appropriate kiss, would be normal, even expected. And so, for her to say that I wish you were like my brother, is an expression of her desire for him.
She’s so in love with him that she always wants to be with him, to cling to him, wants to be free to show her affection towards him at all times.
Newlyweds know what this is like, and likely the married couples here can remember back to when you were first dating your spouse. You delighted to show your affection towards them, even in public. Holding hands, hugging close, leaning on one another.
And simple application for us is to ask ourselves, am I still communicating affection and, indeed, desire for my spouse? Do I use my words to communicate my desire for them?
Our words are the overflow of our hearts, as Jesus said, and for you to claim that you desire your spouse in your heart, but you never use words to express that desire to them, that tells you that something is probably not right.
It is good and natural for us to speak about what we love, and to express desire for the one that we are in love with.
So many marriages get stuck in a rut, either going through the motions and just functioning as roommates. You still talk, and there is no overt animosity, but all you talk about is logistics. What’s on the calendar this week? Who’s picking up the kids from practice?
No more sweet whispers of desire. No more intimate communion. No more excitement. Just existing. Coasting.
But that can be a dangerous place to be, because Satan loves to tempt people with things that look enticing and exciting. Staleness in our marriage can tempt the tempter to come and entice us with other things.
We should regularly communicate our desire, our love for our spouse. We need to use our words for that. Indeed, look at what the woman says in verse 2:
2 I would lead you and bring you
into the house of my mother—
she who used to teach me.
I would give you spiced wine to drink,
the juice of my pomegranate.
Again, she’s not using some kind of taboo language here. She plans to take her beloved King into the house of her mother, into the place of her own conception, and share time together.
The poetry speaks of spiced wine and juicy pomegranates, both of which are not merely tasty treats, but are associated with sensual passion.
Again, she is using her words to express her desire, and even spells out her plans for what she intends to do. I won’t linger here, but it is a good and natural thing for spouses to use their words to express their desire for intimacy, and to even build the anticipation through the use of choice words.
Marital intimacy was God’s idea. He created us for it, and when in the context of a healthy and godly marriage, it can often by one of the closest experiences we will have in this life to what life was like in the garden.
If you will recall a major theme of this book has been describing marriage as a return to the garden of Eden. Back where Adam and Eve were created for one another, where they were dwelling in perfect communion and harmony, where they were naked and unashamed.
Indeed, that experience of being together and unashamed is really what she’s getting at in these verses. She says in verse 1: I want to be together and I want to express my love without anyone to despise me.
In fact, that word that she uses for despise at the end of verse 1 is an interesting word. It’s only uses 11 times in the old testament, so not very many times, and one of those times is used in the story of Judah and Tamar.
We discussed in chapter 7 how the name Tamar is the same root as the word for palm tree in 7:8, and we noted that God is taking shameful events in the life of Israel and re-framing them. He’s taking that which is shameful, and re-casting it into something beautiful.
I think we have a hint of that story again in this section. The woman is expressing a desire to communion and intimacy, as close as a brother, and wants to express that love in a way that bears no shame. Not at all like the shame of Judah mistreating Tamar. No, something more like Adam and Eve, together and naked and unashamed.
Each of us also has things in our own histories that seem to prevent us from having that kind of relationship. We’re either ashamed of our own histories. Ashamed of our sin. Ashamed of our failings. Or maybe you’re like the woman in this book, who was ashamed of her own body and says in chapter 1 “don’t look at me.”
Spouses do that all the time, either literally shutting off the lights and feeling shame for how they look, or they can do it relationally, withdrawing back, hiding in the bushes, like Adam & Eve.
Whatever our story, we need to remember that this book that we’re reading isn’t merely a love poem. It doesn’t merely describe a redeemed marriage. It points beyond itself. It certainly speaks of marriage, but it doesn’t stop there. It scratches deeper, hinting at a more primal reality, indeed, I would say heavenly reality.
When the bride is speaking of a desire for communion and intimacy without shame, I think she’s pointing us to a reality that no earthly marriage can ultimately provide. She’s pointing us to a King that would come that would be even greater than Solomon. She’s pointing us to Jesus Christ.
Jesus is the one that would come, who is not only the perfect bridegroom of the church, but who also is our brother.
Romans 8 tells us that God’s plan of salvation has made Jesus the first born of many brothers. When we trust in Jesus Christ as the son of God who died for sinners, then we are united to him at a level that not even marriage can duplicate.
We’re united to him by faith, we’re made members of the household of God, and co-heirs with Christ of the blessings of salvation.
And that union, that brotherhood goes even deeper.
No earthly spouse can be with you wherever you go. But Christ is always with you, by his spirit.
No earthly spouse can know you perfectly, warts and all. But Christ knows you perfectly, completely, thoroughly, in every conceivable way. And he still loves you and delights in you.
No earthly spouse can intimately know your heart. But Christ knows your heart perfectly. He knows your fears. Your worries. Your struggles. Your weaknesses. And he not only loves you in spite of them, he asks to carry them for you.
He’s not ashamed of you. He doesn’t despise you. That was the fear of the woman in our text: that people would despise her if she truly acted upon her desire.
But what does the New Testament teach us? The New Testament tells us that although mankind has done all kinds of shameful acts, Romans 1:27, although each of us has committed shameful sins, Christ has come.
And despising the shame, he willingly endured the cross, Hebrews 12. He took the shame that belonged to each of us. He was despised in our place. He took the derision that we had earned for ourselves.
That’s the promise of the gospel. 1 Peter 2:16:
“I am laying in Zion a stone,
a cornerstone chosen and precious,
and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame”
Likewise, Romans 10 says “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.”
In Christ, we’re impenetrable to shame. He’s taken it for us. We no longer have to fear to the accusations of the evil one.
Well, you say, Pastor, how can this be? I’m still a sinner.[2]
Well, that’s certainly true. We all are sinners. But the one who has believed on Jesus no longer has to carry the shame of his sin. Jesus has carried it to Calvary. We certainly still sin, but when we do, we own up to it, we repent of it, we remember that Jesus died for it, and he left that sin in the grave.
Indeed, your sinning doesn’t disqualify you from grace at all. In fact, the very presence of sin in your life is what qualifies you to be saved in the first place. Don’t listen to the accuser who would have you believe that your sin disqualifies you from mercy in Christ.
But Pastor, you don’t understand. I’m a terrible sinner. I’ve committed great and heinous sins.
I know you have. But you see, Christ only died for heinous sins. Because every sin is first and foremost a sin against a holy God, there is no slight sin. There is no such thing as a small sin at all.
But also remember, that the sacrifice of Christ is sufficient for all the sins of his bride. There is no sin that can outweigh the merit of Christ. The scales of justice are clear: your sin is no more heavy than the sacrifice that was made on the cross.
Perhaps you say, well pastor, I understand Christ forgives great sins, but my sins are against God himself. How would God forgive me?
I say to you on the basis of Scripture, that you are right. You have sinned against God himself. But who better to forgive you than Jesus, who is God himself. Yes, your sins were against God, but God has voluntarily offered the perfect sacrifice in your place.
See in his willingness to die for sinners the depth of his love. And when you come to him in faith, forsaking all else and turning away from the temptations of this world, you will find a perfectly faithful and loving bridegroom who delights in his bride.
She’s made lovely and perfect because she’s given loveliness from him. She’s remade in the image of the son, the bible says, and washed, spotless and white.
True communion, like what is pictured in verse 3, is what awaits those that believe in Christ. One day we will be forever with our king, in our heavenly garden, walking together in the cool of the day, no more sin, no more shame. Only perfect intimacy and closeness, a fellowship which can never be lost.
Don’t you want that? Don’t you look forward to that? I hope you do. Trust in Christ and that is what awaits you.
Now, let’s turn to the remainder of our text, and see true love described. True Love described.
Now, before we get into verses 5-7, we have verse 4, which is a repeated refrain throughout the book. This same section has been stated in chapter 2 and chapter 3:
4 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
that you not stir up or awaken love
until it pleases.
Some people take the placement of this exhortation to mean that the relationship has yet to be consummated. I don’t think that’s the case, as I have argued all along the way. I think we have a reminder here of the fallen condition in which we live.
At a human level, we need to instruct our young people, just as the woman in our text was taught by her mother in verse 2, that love has its proper expression at the proper time, in the proper place, and in the proper way. And to stir up passion and love outside of those times, is to engage in folly.
The proper expression of love is within the bounds of a monogamous marriage between a man and a woman. Outside of that is foolishness. We should be training our children accordingly. Everything the world tells them, everything they see on tv or movies or online, catechizes them in the opposite direction.
The world says that love is merely a feeling, and that feeling is truth. So if I feel a certain way, then I must be in love, regardless of who or what makes me feel that way.
But the bible is remarkably practical here: feelings are important and good, but they must be tempered by wisdom. Don’t stir them up too soon, or you will be tempted. Don’t stoke the fires with your imagination or by placing things in front of your eyes, things that you can’t righteously have yet.
You will be rewarded for your restraint here. Children and young people especially, hear the unanimous testimony of scripture: you will reap what you sow. If you sow seeds of righteousness, in time you will reap a pleasant harvest.
You may feel like you are missing out, abstaining from sexual sin, but you’re not. You’re simply giving up a momentary taste of pleasure, for a greater treasure ahead. And when that day finally comes, you will not be disappointed. You will not feel as though you had missed out at all.
Do not stir up or awaken love
until it pleases
The presence of this repeated refrain also reminds us that this world is not quite yet what it will be. This book points us to a future time, when our brother and bridegroom will be finally here. When love will be finally and perfectly experienced.
And it is that day, and that love, that I think verses 5-7 picture for us.
The opening of verse 5 is language that is an exact repeating of chapter 3:6, where the king is pictured as processing forward to his wedding day, and he’s described in that section in the language of the great Exodus.
You’ll recall that in the Exodus story, God brings Israel out of slavery in Egypt, sustains his people in the desert, and then brings his nation out of the desert, coming up out of the wilderness, and into the promised land, to enjoy fellowship with him and fruitful blessing in the land he that he had prepared for his bride.
Verse 5:
5 Who is that coming up from the wilderness,
leaning on her beloved?
Under the apple tree I awakened you.
There your mother was in labor with you;
there she who bore you was in labor.
But, we all recall the history of Israel. They were supposed to experience blessed communion with their bridegroom Yahweh in the promised land.
But Israel broke the covenant.
And then the Prophets do something very interesting. We see in the prophets, explicit connections between the first exodus story, and another exodus to come. There are many possible places we could turn, but I want to just show you a couple.
Hold your finger here, and turn for a moment to the prophet Hosea. Hosea chapter 11. Hosea is the first of the minor prophets. Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea
Hosea here in chapter 11 parallels the experience of slavery in Egypt, to the coming slavery that will happen in when Israel is carried off into exile.
When Israel was a child, I loved him,
and out of Egypt I called my son. [That’s a reference to the exodus, the first one]
2 The more they were called,
the more they went away;
they kept sacrificing to the Baals
and burning offerings to idols.
3 Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk;
I took them up by their arms,
but they did not know that I healed them.
4 I led them with cords of kindness,
with the bands of love,
and I became to them as one who eases the yoke on their jaws,
and I bent down to them and fed them.
5 They shall not return to the land of Egypt,
but Assyria shall be their king,
because they have refused to return to me.
So, the Holy Spirit is writing through the prophet Hosea, speaking of the coming exile as if it were another episode paralleling the original enslavement in Egypt. You can also read Isaiah 52:4 saying something similar.
But it is not merely the slavery that is compared. There’s more. God promises another exodus like event to come.
For example, Isaiah 11:16 says, “And there will be a highway from Assyria,
for the remnant that remains of his people,
as there was for Israel
when they came up from the land of Egypt.”
Just like the Red sea served as a dry path, a highway for God’s people, God is going to bring people out of Assyria, like when he brought them up out of Egypt. Coming out of exile will be like another Exodus.
Or Jeremiah 16:14-15 says, “Therefore, behold, the days are coming, declares the Lord, when it shall no longer be said, ‘As the Lord lives who brought up the people of Israel out of the land of Egypt,’ 15 but ‘As the Lord lives who brought up the people of Israel out of the north country and out of all the countries where he had driven them.’”
Jeremiah is saying that the next exodus is going to be so glorious, so amazing, that it will redefine how people speak about God and His God’s great works. They will no longer point back to the Exodus from Egypt as the defining event. But they will talk about this new exodus.
Now, I don’t want to get into a debate surrounding the end times, but I do think these passages, and others like Jeremiah 31, and Hosea 2, all point us to a coming event, a coming covenant, a coming exodus, which will supersede all previous acts of God in terms of magnitude and glory and mercy and grace.
And I think that that future event will so demonstrate God’s love toward his bride that all onlookers will have no recourse but to be in Awe and worship God. His grace and his love will be proven without any shadow of a doubt.
In fact, in the final verses of our section back in Song of Solomon 8, that’s how we end up: examining the qualities of God’s love.
6 Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death,
jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
the very flame of the Lord.
7 Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can floods drown it.
If a man offered for love
all the wealth of his house,
he would be utterly despised.
The love described here, the love between the king and his bride, the love of Yahweh himself, is described in language that has significance in the life of Israel.
The love is described as having flashes of fire and the flame of the Lord. What else has shown flashes of fire and flames? The presence of Yahweh on Mount Sinai, and later when the glory of the Lord filled the temple.
2 Chronicles 7 says, “When Solomon had finished praying, fire came down from heaven and consumed the burnt offering and the sacrifices; and the glory of the Lord filled the Temple. 2 And the priests could not enter the house of the Lord, because the glory of the Lord had filled the Lord’s house.
3 When all the children of Israel saw how the fire came down, and the glory of the Lord on the temple, they bowed their faces to the ground on the pavement, and worshiped and praised the Lord, saying:
“For He is good,
For His mercy endures forever.””
Solomon is describing Yahweh’s love in the same kind of terms.
He says next that this love cannot be quenched, and can’t be drowned in floods. I believe that to be a clear allusion to the exodus through the red sea.
The love of Yahweh is strong as death, which is a poetic way to say it is unstoppable. It is undefeatable. It is unshakable. It is stronger even than the unfaithfulness of his bride.
God’s love brings beauty wherever it goes, and it makes lovely the unlovely. It turns Tamars into Palm trees, harlots into holy ones, and gives to the barren a fruitful offspring.
In short, I think that this section uses marriage language, that combined with other passages in the Old Testament, point forward to the Love of God as demonstrated in the new covenant, when the final bridegroom and son of David, the true kingly shepherd, will come and perfectly pursue and redeem a bride from slavery, not slavery in Egypt or Assyria, but slavery to sin and death.
And that king will eventually take his bride through the final exodus, which is the grave, into the final promised land, which is the new heaven and the new earth, where we will dwell with him in the perfected garden, the final paradise, where there will be no more sin, no more shame.
That’s the love that is described in this text, I believe. That’s the power of Yahweh’s love. And the power of the love of Christ himself.
Don’t you want to experience that kind of love? This kind of love is so powerful and strong, that even the best of earthly marriages can only hint at it, which is one of the reasons why I think this book isn’t merely for those that are married.
The book speaks much of earthly marriage, but it doesn’t stop there: it pushes all of us to consider our heavenly marriage, and the love of the celestial bridegroom.
Trust in Christ, our great bridegroom, and you can experience that kind of love. And trust you must do. Faith alone is the key to this spiritual marriage.
The verse ends:
If a man offered for love
all the wealth of his house,
he would be utterly despised.
You can’t buy this kind of love, and to do so would be an insult. In fact, the text says you’d be despised, the same word used in verse 1. The same shameful despising that the woman feared, that’s what is waiting for the person who thinks they can enter into this spiritual marriage with Christ by any means other than faith.
No wealth can get you in. No sacrifice you can make. No acts of service or penance. No deeds of mercy or charity. Faith alone makes a man or woman fit to be part of Christ’s bride, the church.
Trust in Christ today, and be forgiven by the unstoppable love of God himself.
[1] C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York: MacMillan, 1960), 120.
[2] This section is reminiscent of a section in Gentle and Lowly.https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/jon-english-lee/episodes/Looking-for-Love-in-All-the-Right-Places-e2gm5gk
Good evening. Please turn with me in your bibles to Song of Solomon chapter 8. Song of Solomon chapter 8. We’ve made it to the final chapter, and we will see the author begin wrap things up.
By way of review, I’ve made the case along the way that this book is a collection of individual poems, but that those individual poems are tied together to paint a picture, or tell a story. We move in the first three chapters from the courtship or dating phase, into chapters 3 and 4 about the wedding and all the joy and anticipation surrounding that event.
But then in chapter 5 we see a problem, and there is a rift, a separation within the relationship. And that separation is remedied in chapters 6 and 7 which describe the reconciliation of the estranged parties, and the restoration of the relationship
Tonight, we will see, I believe, poetry that gives us some concluding reflections. These reflections hint at the deepening of intimacy throughout marriage, but they also push us even further.
They give us the framework to understand that human marriage, human intimacy, indeed the very primal desire for fellowship and closeness, are all rooted in something deeper than physical touch or marriage vows could ever reach.
Relational Desire and the craving for intimacy, seem to have no end. When we truly love someone, we want more and more of them. We don’t tire of them. We crave their company, their touch, their conversation, their presence.
But therein lies the conundrum. What spouse can ever fulfill a seemingly bottomless desire? What spouse can ever be perfectly present, perfectly close, perfectly satisfying to our souls?
I’d argue on the basis of scripture that No earthly spouse can completely fulfill our deepest desires. So where does that leave us?
That question is part of what led CS Lewis to conclude: “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”[1]
Before I get ahead of myself, let’s read our text. Song of Solomon chapter 8:
Oh that you were like a brother to me
who nursed at my mother’s breasts!
If I found you outside, I would kiss you,
and none would despise me.
2 I would lead you and bring you
into the house of my mother—
she who used to teach me.
I would give you spiced wine to drink,
the juice of my pomegranate.
3 His left hand is under my head,
and his right hand embraces me!
4 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
that you not stir up or awaken love
until it pleases.5 Who is that coming up from the wilderness,
leaning on her beloved?Under the apple tree I awakened you.
There your mother was in labor with you;
there she who bore you was in labor.6 Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death,
jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
the very flame of the Lord.
7 Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can floods drown it.
If a man offered for love
all the wealth of his house,
he[c] would be utterly despised.
Let’s begin by walking through the first three verses and see desire described, desire described. The woman begins with words that sound strange to our ears, perhaps even illicit:
Oh that you were like a brother to me
who nursed at my mother’s breasts!
If I found you outside, I would kiss you,
and none would despise me.
Why would she want her lover to be a brother? Is this some kind of perversion? No. She’s saying in verse 1 that she wishes she could kiss her brother in public, without any sense of shame.
In their culture, for a woman to hold hands or show bodily affection toward her lover would be immediately taboo. It would be necessarily seen as having erotic overtones that were unacceptable in public.
However, for a sister and brother to hold hands, or to hug, or to even have an appropriate kiss, would be normal, even expected. And so, for her to say that I wish you were like my brother, is an expression of her desire for him.
She’s so in love with him that she always wants to be with him, to cling to him, wants to be free to show her affection towards him at all times.
Newlyweds know what this is like, and likely the married couples here can remember back to when you were first dating your spouse. You delighted to show your affection towards them, even in public. Holding hands, hugging close, leaning on one another.
And simple application for us is to ask ourselves, am I still communicating affection and, indeed, desire for my spouse? Do I use my words to communicate my desire for them?
Our words are the overflow of our hearts, as Jesus said, and for you to claim that you desire your spouse in your heart, but you never use words to express that desire to them, that tells you that something is probably not right.
It is good and natural for us to speak about what we love, and to express desire for the one that we are in love with.
So many marriages get stuck in a rut, either going through the motions and just functioning as roommates. You still talk, and there is no overt animosity, but all you talk about is logistics. What’s on the calendar this week? Who’s picking up the kids from practice?
No more sweet whispers of desire. No more intimate communion. No more excitement. Just existing. Coasting.
But that can be a dangerous place to be, because Satan loves to tempt people with things that look enticing and exciting. Staleness in our marriage can tempt the tempter to come and entice us with other things.
We should regularly communicate our desire, our love for our spouse. We need to use our words for that. Indeed, look at what the woman says in verse 2:
2 I would lead you and bring you
into the house of my mother—
she who used to teach me.
I would give you spiced wine to drink,
the juice of my pomegranate.
Again, she’s not using some kind of taboo language here. She plans to take her beloved King into the house of her mother, into the place of her own conception, and share time together.
The poetry speaks of spiced wine and juicy pomegranates, both of which are not merely tasty treats, but are associated with sensual passion.
Again, she is using her words to express her desire, and even spells out her plans for what she intends to do. I won’t linger here, but it is a good and natural thing for spouses to use their words to express their desire for intimacy, and to even build the anticipation through the use of choice words.
Marital intimacy was God’s idea. He created us for it, and when in the context of a healthy and godly marriage, it can often by one of the closest experiences we will have in this life to what life was like in the garden.
If you will recall a major theme of this book has been describing marriage as a return to the garden of Eden. Back where Adam and Eve were created for one another, where they were dwelling in perfect communion and harmony, where they were naked and unashamed.
Indeed, that experience of being together and unashamed is really what she’s getting at in these verses. She says in verse 1: I want to be together and I want to express my love without anyone to despise me.
In fact, that word that she uses for despise at the end of verse 1 is an interesting word. It’s only uses 11 times in the old testament, so not very many times, and one of those times is used in the story of Judah and Tamar.
We discussed in chapter 7 how the name Tamar is the same root as the word for palm tree in 7:8, and we noted that God is taking shameful events in the life of Israel and re-framing them. He’s taking that which is shameful, and re-casting it into something beautiful.
I think we have a hint of that story again in this section. The woman is expressing a desire to communion and intimacy, as close as a brother, and wants to express that love in a way that bears no shame. Not at all like the shame of Judah mistreating Tamar. No, something more like Adam and Eve, together and naked and unashamed.
Each of us also has things in our own histories that seem to prevent us from having that kind of relationship. We’re either ashamed of our own histories. Ashamed of our sin. Ashamed of our failings. Or maybe you’re like the woman in this book, who was ashamed of her own body and says in chapter 1 “don’t look at me.”
Spouses do that all the time, either literally shutting off the lights and feeling shame for how they look, or they can do it relationally, withdrawing back, hiding in the bushes, like Adam & Eve.
Whatever our story, we need to remember that this book that we’re reading isn’t merely a love poem. It doesn’t merely describe a redeemed marriage. It points beyond itself. It certainly speaks of marriage, but it doesn’t stop there. It scratches deeper, hinting at a more primal reality, indeed, I would say heavenly reality.
When the bride is speaking of a desire for communion and intimacy without shame, I think she’s pointing us to a reality that no earthly marriage can ultimately provide. She’s pointing us to a King that would come that would be even greater than Solomon. She’s pointing us to Jesus Christ.
Jesus is the one that would come, who is not only the perfect bridegroom of the church, but who also is our brother.
Romans 8 tells us that God’s plan of salvation has made Jesus the first born of many brothers. When we trust in Jesus Christ as the son of God who died for sinners, then we are united to him at a level that not even marriage can duplicate.
We’re united to him by faith, we’re made members of the household of God, and co-heirs with Christ of the blessings of salvation.
And that union, that brotherhood goes even deeper.
No earthly spouse can be with you wherever you go. But Christ is always with you, by his spirit.
No earthly spouse can know you perfectly, warts and all. But Christ knows you perfectly, completely, thoroughly, in every conceivable way. And he still loves you and delights in you.
No earthly spouse can intimately know your heart. But Christ knows your heart perfectly. He knows your fears. Your worries. Your struggles. Your weaknesses. And he not only loves you in spite of them, he asks to carry them for you.
He’s not ashamed of you. He doesn’t despise you. That was the fear of the woman in our text: that people would despise her if she truly acted upon her desire.
But what does the New Testament teach us? The New Testament tells us that although mankind has done all kinds of shameful acts, Romans 1:27, although each of us has committed shameful sins, Christ has come.
And despising the shame, he willingly endured the cross, Hebrews 12. He took the shame that belonged to each of us. He was despised in our place. He took the derision that we had earned for ourselves.
That’s the promise of the gospel. 1 Peter 2:16:
“I am laying in Zion a stone,
a cornerstone chosen and precious,
and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame”
Likewise, Romans 10 says “Everyone who believes in him will not be put to shame.”
In Christ, we’re impenetrable to shame. He’s taken it for us. We no longer have to fear to the accusations of the evil one.
Well, you say, Pastor, how can this be? I’m still a sinner.[2]
Well, that’s certainly true. We all are sinners. But the one who has believed on Jesus no longer has to carry the shame of his sin. Jesus has carried it to Calvary. We certainly still sin, but when we do, we own up to it, we repent of it, we remember that Jesus died for it, and he left that sin in the grave.
Indeed, your sinning doesn’t disqualify you from grace at all. In fact, the very presence of sin in your life is what qualifies you to be saved in the first place. Don’t listen to the accuser who would have you believe that your sin disqualifies you from mercy in Christ.
But Pastor, you don’t understand. I’m a terrible sinner. I’ve committed great and heinous sins.
I know you have. But you see, Christ only died for heinous sins. Because every sin is first and foremost a sin against a holy God, there is no slight sin. There is no such thing as a small sin at all.
But also remember, that the sacrifice of Christ is sufficient for all the sins of his bride. There is no sin that can outweigh the merit of Christ. The scales of justice are clear: your sin is no more heavy than the sacrifice that was made on the cross.
Perhaps you say, well pastor, I understand Christ forgives great sins, but my sins are against God himself. How would God forgive me?
I say to you on the basis of Scripture, that you are right. You have sinned against God himself. But who better to forgive you than Jesus, who is God himself. Yes, your sins were against God, but God has voluntarily offered the perfect sacrifice in your place.
See in his willingness to die for sinners the depth of his love. And when you come to him in faith, forsaking all else and turning away from the temptations of this world, you will find a perfectly faithful and loving bridegroom who delights in his bride.
She’s made lovely and perfect because she’s given loveliness from him. She’s remade in the image of the son, the bible says, and washed, spotless and white.
True communion, like what is pictured in verse 3, is what awaits those that believe in Christ. One day we will be forever with our king, in our heavenly garden, walking together in the cool of the day, no more sin, no more shame. Only perfect intimacy and closeness, a fellowship which can never be lost.
Don’t you want that? Don’t you look forward to that? I hope you do. Trust in Christ and that is what awaits you.
Now, let’s turn to the remainder of our text, and see true love described. True Love described.
Now, before we get into verses 5-7, we have verse 4, which is a repeated refrain throughout the book. This same section has been stated in chapter 2 and chapter 3:
4 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
that you not stir up or awaken love
until it pleases.
Some people take the placement of this exhortation to mean that the relationship has yet to be consummated. I don’t think that’s the case, as I have argued all along the way. I think we have a reminder here of the fallen condition in which we live.
At a human level, we need to instruct our young people, just as the woman in our text was taught by her mother in verse 2, that love has its proper expression at the proper time, in the proper place, and in the proper way. And to stir up passion and love outside of those times, is to engage in folly.
The proper expression of love is within the bounds of a monogamous marriage between a man and a woman. Outside of that is foolishness. We should be training our children accordingly. Everything the world tells them, everything they see on tv or movies or online, catechizes them in the opposite direction.
The world says that love is merely a feeling, and that feeling is truth. So if I feel a certain way, then I must be in love, regardless of who or what makes me feel that way.
But the bible is remarkably practical here: feelings are important and good, but they must be tempered by wisdom. Don’t stir them up too soon, or you will be tempted. Don’t stoke the fires with your imagination or by placing things in front of your eyes, things that you can’t righteously have yet.
You will be rewarded for your restraint here. Children and young people especially, hear the unanimous testimony of scripture: you will reap what you sow. If you sow seeds of righteousness, in time you will reap a pleasant harvest.
You may feel like you are missing out, abstaining from sexual sin, but you’re not. You’re simply giving up a momentary taste of pleasure, for a greater treasure ahead. And when that day finally comes, you will not be disappointed. You will not feel as though you had missed out at all.
Do not stir up or awaken love
until it pleases
The presence of this repeated refrain also reminds us that this world is not quite yet what it will be. This book points us to a future time, when our brother and bridegroom will be finally here. When love will be finally and perfectly experienced.
And it is that day, and that love, that I think verses 5-7 picture for us.
The opening of verse 5 is language that is an exact repeating of chapter 3:6, where the king is pictured as processing forward to his wedding day, and he’s described in that section in the language of the great Exodus.
You’ll recall that in the Exodus story, God brings Israel out of slavery in Egypt, sustains his people in the desert, and then brings his nation out of the desert, coming up out of the wilderness, and into the promised land, to enjoy fellowship with him and fruitful blessing in the land he that he had prepared for his bride.
Verse 5:
5 Who is that coming up from the wilderness,
leaning on her beloved?
Under the apple tree I awakened you.
There your mother was in labor with you;
there she who bore you was in labor.
But, we all recall the history of Israel. They were supposed to experience blessed communion with their bridegroom Yahweh in the promised land.
But Israel broke the covenant.
And then the Prophets do something very interesting. We see in the prophets, explicit connections between the first exodus story, and another exodus to come. There are many possible places we could turn, but I want to just show you a couple.
Hold your finger here, and turn for a moment to the prophet Hosea. Hosea chapter 11. Hosea is the first of the minor prophets. Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea
Hosea here in chapter 11 parallels the experience of slavery in Egypt, to the coming slavery that will happen in when Israel is carried off into exile.
When Israel was a child, I loved him,
and out of Egypt I called my son. [That’s a reference to the exodus, the first one]
2 The more they were called,
the more they went away;
they kept sacrificing to the Baals
and burning offerings to idols.
3 Yet it was I who taught Ephraim to walk;
I took them up by their arms,
but they did not know that I healed them.
4 I led them with cords of kindness,
with the bands of love,
and I became to them as one who eases the yoke on their jaws,
and I bent down to them and fed them.
5 They shall not return to the land of Egypt,
but Assyria shall be their king,
because they have refused to return to me.
So, the Holy Spirit is writing through the prophet Hosea, speaking of the coming exile as if it were another episode paralleling the original enslavement in Egypt. You can also read Isaiah 52:4 saying something similar.
But it is not merely the slavery that is compared. There’s more. God promises another exodus like event to come.
For example, Isaiah 11:16 says, “And there will be a highway from Assyria,
for the remnant that remains of his people,
as there was for Israel
when they came up from the land of Egypt.”
Just like the Red sea served as a dry path, a highway for God’s people, God is going to bring people out of Assyria, like when he brought them up out of Egypt. Coming out of exile will be like another Exodus.
Or Jeremiah 16:14-15 says, “Therefore, behold, the days are coming, declares the Lord, when it shall no longer be said, ‘As the Lord lives who brought up the people of Israel out of the land of Egypt,’ 15 but ‘As the Lord lives who brought up the people of Israel out of the north country and out of all the countries where he had driven them.’”
Jeremiah is saying that the next exodus is going to be so glorious, so amazing, that it will redefine how people speak about God and His God’s great works. They will no longer point back to the Exodus from Egypt as the defining event. But they will talk about this new exodus.
Now, I don’t want to get into a debate surrounding the end times, but I do think these passages, and others like Jeremiah 31, and Hosea 2, all point us to a coming event, a coming covenant, a coming exodus, which will supersede all previous acts of God in terms of magnitude and glory and mercy and grace.
And I think that that future event will so demonstrate God’s love toward his bride that all onlookers will have no recourse but to be in Awe and worship God. His grace and his love will be proven without any shadow of a doubt.
In fact, in the final verses of our section back in Song of Solomon 8, that’s how we end up: examining the qualities of God’s love.
6 Set me as a seal upon your heart,
as a seal upon your arm,
for love is strong as death,
jealousy is fierce as the grave.
Its flashes are flashes of fire,
the very flame of the Lord.
7 Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can floods drown it.
If a man offered for love
all the wealth of his house,
he would be utterly despised.
The love described here, the love between the king and his bride, the love of Yahweh himself, is described in language that has significance in the life of Israel.
The love is described as having flashes of fire and the flame of the Lord. What else has shown flashes of fire and flames? The presence of Yahweh on Mount Sinai, and later when the glory of the Lord filled the temple.
2 Chronicles 7 says, “When Solomon had finished praying, fire came down from heaven and consumed the burnt offering and the sacrifices; and the glory of the Lord filled the Temple. 2 And the priests could not enter the house of the Lord, because the glory of the Lord had filled the Lord’s house.
3 When all the children of Israel saw how the fire came down, and the glory of the Lord on the temple, they bowed their faces to the ground on the pavement, and worshiped and praised the Lord, saying:
“For He is good,
For His mercy endures forever.””
Solomon is describing Yahweh’s love in the same kind of terms.
He says next that this love cannot be quenched, and can’t be drowned in floods. I believe that to be a clear allusion to the exodus through the red sea.
The love of Yahweh is strong as death, which is a poetic way to say it is unstoppable. It is undefeatable. It is unshakable. It is stronger even than the unfaithfulness of his bride.
God’s love brings beauty wherever it goes, and it makes lovely the unlovely. It turns Tamars into Palm trees, harlots into holy ones, and gives to the barren a fruitful offspring.
In short, I think that this section uses marriage language, that combined with other passages in the Old Testament, point forward to the Love of God as demonstrated in the new covenant, when the final bridegroom and son of David, the true kingly shepherd, will come and perfectly pursue and redeem a bride from slavery, not slavery in Egypt or Assyria, but slavery to sin and death.
And that king will eventually take his bride through the final exodus, which is the grave, into the final promised land, which is the new heaven and the new earth, where we will dwell with him in the perfected garden, the final paradise, where there will be no more sin, no more shame.
That’s the love that is described in this text, I believe. That’s the power of Yahweh’s love. And the power of the love of Christ himself.
Don’t you want to experience that kind of love? This kind of love is so powerful and strong, that even the best of earthly marriages can only hint at it, which is one of the reasons why I think this book isn’t merely for those that are married.
The book speaks much of earthly marriage, but it doesn’t stop there: it pushes all of us to consider our heavenly marriage, and the love of the celestial bridegroom.
Trust in Christ, our great bridegroom, and you can experience that kind of love. And trust you must do. Faith alone is the key to this spiritual marriage.
The verse ends:
If a man offered for love
all the wealth of his house,
he would be utterly despised.
You can’t buy this kind of love, and to do so would be an insult. In fact, the text says you’d be despised, the same word used in verse 1. The same shameful despising that the woman feared, that’s what is waiting for the person who thinks they can enter into this spiritual marriage with Christ by any means other than faith.
No wealth can get you in. No sacrifice you can make. No acts of service or penance. No deeds of mercy or charity. Faith alone makes a man or woman fit to be part of Christ’s bride, the church.
Trust in Christ today, and be forgiven by the unstoppable love of God himself.
[1] C. S. Lewis, Mere Christianity (New York: MacMillan, 1960), 120.
[2] This section is reminiscent of a section in Gentle and Lowly.
