40 Observations Made at Turning 40

I turn 40 years old this month, and have been reflecting on life, wisdom, and ministry. I decided it would be fun to write down some lessons I have observed, and a few that I’ve learned. Below are 40 observations and reflections made upon turning 40, plus one to grow on:

1. Most of life is unseen, unpraised, plodding. But God keeps good records.
2. Don’t weigh your words by the pound, but by the ounce. Brevity aids clarity, and both aid pursuasiveness (cf. Prov. 10:19).
3. Contentment is only learned through deprivation.
4. Talent will not sustain where character lacks. Shooting stars shine brightly, but briefly.
5. Congregations grow to resemble the character and personality of its preacher(s), for good or for ill.
6. I have found marriage to be much easier than I anticipated, and parenting much more difficult than I anticipated. And parenting was much easier before I had children.
7. Youth permits a lack of bodily discipline that age will not tolerate. The fruit of poor bodily discipline returns with compound interest over time (cf. 1 Tim. 4:8).
8. I once thought encouragement was, like the cherry on top of a cake, unnecessary. But that’s a flawed analogy. Encouragement is unnecessary in the way that a glove is for baseball: you can play the game without it, but only painfully.
9. You will die with a list of unread books, so don’t waste time reading a bad one. Just because you paid good money for a bad book doesn’t necessitate a second mistake in finishing it.
10. Homogenous congregations are stunted. Youthful zeal needs balance from aged acuity. And elderly comfort needs the nudge of youthful enthusiasm. Both need patience.
11. The best author in the world is only as good as his editor. 
12. Preaching has been a jumble of contradictions: disarmingly simple, impossible to master; frequently encouraging, often terrifying; grueling labor, yet joyful toil; full of thorns, but under those you’ll find the face of our savior. 
13. I have never regretted showing kindness to someone, especially when they didn’t deserve it. I often regret a lack of it.
14. Gracious speech isn’t merely truthful, so before speaking answer: Is it loving? Does it need to be said? By me? Right now? If yes to all, then you’ll find a setting of silver (Prov 25:11).
15. God has used my reputation to open doors that I didn’t know existed. Each small thing I can do to protect it is a sound investment (Prov. 22:1).
16. The last job I applied for was a part-time job as a lifeguard. In each job since I’ve pursued contented faithfulness until the Lord shoved me into the next job. I don’t regret it.
17. Most of the families I have counseled would have much more peace if the Father was less irritable (myself included!) and the mother was less worried. 
18. Proverbs 18:22 says He who finds a wife finds a good thing. This may be one of the greatest understatements in scripture.
19. To leave vengeance to the Lord may be the hardest demand of scripture.
20. Anger is contagious (Prov. 22:24), much more so than peaceability.
21. The indispensability of the weaker parts of the body (1 Cor. 12:22) made no sense to me as a younger man. But now I’ve seen the power of faithful prayer.
22. An angry person will always find something to be upset about.
23. Old friendships are worth the effort to maintain, and I need to be better at it.
24. You can wow a crowd with flashy rhetoric, but you can’t win their hearts without sincere love.
25. You won’t finish with the same ones you begin with. And God has wisdom in that.
26. The simplest commands are often the hardest to practice: turning the other cheek, not returning evil for evil.
27. I thought seminary would teach me the answer to all theological questions. Instead, it taught me to ask better questions.
28. I can count on one hand the number of times I under-reacted. Over-reaction seems instinctual. Question your first feelings.
29. Impulsive over-correction is easier to sell than faithful plodding. 
30. Laziness masked as busyness dominates many in ministry.
31. Shem and Japeth bent over backwards to cover the shame of their father (Gen. 9:23). I’ve never regretted covering the weaknesses of my superior.
32. You can’t know beforehand which sermons the Lord will use mightily. Pray fervently, preach faith-filledly, and trust the Holy Spirit to guide the arrow.
33. The exchange rate for encouragement is incredible. Costs little, buys much. 
34. Charity diffuses hostility. Believing the best of someone (action or  intentions) has prevented much needless conflict (1 Cor. 13:7). 
35. Magnanimity has fallen out of usage, in language and in practice. It’s glorious to overlook offense (Prov. 19:11), and the greater the offense the greater the glory.
36. The theological vice of our day is entertainment fueled acedia. Spiritual listlessness. Appetites wrongly indulged have warped desire away from the good, true, and beautiful.
37. Lust’s chains are real, sturdy, and hellish (Prov. 5:23; Prov. 7:22-23). Many a man is ensnared to his own demise (Prov. 7:26). Gospel liberation is the only hope.
38. Genuinely repentant souls walk in a new direction, but with a limp. A gracious limp.
39. God gives sleep to his beloved (cf. Ps 127:2), a gift only appreciated when withheld. Riches can’t even buy rest (Eccl. 5:12), so cherish it.
40. Don’t preen your feathers. Praise travels further, and sticks better, from another’s lips (Prov. 27:2).
41. You can’t borrow wisdom. It’s expensive (Prov. 23:23; 3:15), not because supply is lacking (James 1:5); demand is (Prov. 10:21).